John F. Kennedy
Everyone I know has a fear of failure. But there's no greater reward than holding failure in your hands and throwing it behind you. For me, my triumphant failure-crushing weekend just happened at Bromont CCI**.
Many of you know I took a spill in the water jump at Jersey Fresh CCI** a few weeks back. I immediately entered Bromont with high hopes and a ridiculous drive to get back out there and finish what I started. So Smarty Pants and I optimistically packed up the trailer (once again...!) and headed down the 401 to Quebec. 8 Hours is a long time to think about things. Things like how prepared you are. Things like what it's going to feel like when your horse may jump 35 feet into the water again. Things like if I remembered my gloves. And things like whether or not you're really meant for this. I don't care who you are or how well you can cover your feelings, but everyone feels the spectrum of excitement, happiness, nerves and the possibility of defeat.
I'm a rider who likes to know everything that could happen. I walk my cross country course with every possible ride that could occur. The "great" the "maybe's" and the "did that and it didn't go well". Of course I don't leave the xc course until I see things happening perfectly, just the way I want, but I’m no fool, and I’m no girl who looks through rose colored glasses. I've ridden enough horses, courses and competed my fair share to know what to expect. I've walked enough courses with enough top riders to find out the one's I like most and the ones who I will never walk with again. One of my favorites is David O'Connor. He says it as it is and that's it. If he thinks a jump is going to ride poorly, well at least I’m aware and I can ride accordingly, or if he thinks it's going to ride easier than it looks then I can ride the same! I'm not into sweeping things under the rug just to make myself feel better in hopes to head out confidently. Not to say that positivity and encouragement is a bad idea, but I don't think heading out on a big course thinking everything will ride perfectly and nothing is overly difficult really prepares you for what may come. That being said, as I left the start box on Saturday, I was more than nervous.
You know it's bad when you have pasties. And when you go to spit up... nothing, you dry heave. It's this moment in time 30 seconds before I leave the start box that I wonder why the hell I do this sport. I know I’m not alone, I just have the balls to admit it! But 31 seconds later that nervous energy is immediately transferred into full throttle, forward moving, 100 percent positive cross county riding. I joke with friends at the barn that I can't feel my legs before I head out....but it's not really a joke. (ha!?) But again, all feeling returns as soon as I take my first breath with my horse on course.
Bromont was big. The biggest ** I’ve ever done. Smarty Pants was sailing along the first few jumps and I knew that if I rode well we were going to have a great ride. I did however ride a little backwards to 5a where it was a bending line of 7 strides to a big corner brush at b. Since I failed to ride as positively over the first as I had originally planned to, I switched to plan b and stuck out one stride more to do 8 to the corner. No use running him off his feet at this moment and risking a drive by this early on course. Things were good. Up the cliff at the back we went and through the tough coffin at 7, 8a,b. Gavin then kicked it into high gear as we galloped up the deceivingly long upward hill toward the first water. I rode like I’ve never ridden before into the water. Gavin jumped great! Jumped off the huge drop like he's done it all his life. It was the next 6 or so strides up to the brush jump and back over a coop that I don't really remember. I was just so concentrated on making sure I gave him a positive ride off the ground that I was overwhelmed with happiness that we made it through the first water complex. It was when we hit the 4 minute mark I felt Gavin really slow down. I had come out earlier in the day to watch a few horses go before I had to get ready, and luckily saw every horse that went by, look tired. So I wasn't too concerned when it actually happened to me. I did however have a lucky moment when Gavin hung a leg at the top of the hill at a giant skinny table. This was completely and error on my part as Gavin hasn't really experienced fatigue at that level before. I should have supported him off the ground much more and I’m sure we would have avoided that situation all together. Luckily I stuck in the tack and gave him some encouragement on the way out of the complex to instill some confidence that I had taken away. He sure didn't want to do that again. He jumped the next table like it was 8 feet tall. It was then off to the humungous drop down to a skinny. I'll let you know the drop was over my head. I'm 5'11. Things were going well. We then headed through the arena and made child’s play of the angled coops. I then felt Gavin get a second wind and he immediately stepped in into high gear again. It's important to know your horse and how much you can ask of them and when. He really stepped it up at this point and he really felt great and fit. Bromont is a seriously tough course mainly because of the terrain. When you have an uphill climb of about 1:45, you really just don’t know what you're going to have at the top. It was mostly downhill from this point on so I kicked on towards the second water. Gavin flew in this time with his ears pricked on the corner flags out. Damn this horse is fun! At this point I felt like I was on a two star packer...at the ripe age of only 7. It was then over a ditch and wall and one more combination. I looked at my watch as we headed towards the last two fences on course. "we're going to make it!" i thought!!! I really thought we were going to be slower, but his gallop is just so big that he covers more ground than I think. We almost made it with just 2.8 time penalties!
It was on to show jumping the next day! I have to have a shout out to Dr. Christiana Ober and the farrier Bruno Cote. Gavin had a bit of a sore foot on Saturday night and they did everything they could to make Gavin comfortable and perfectly sound for the next morning. So thank you! You really are underappreciated and over worked.
Again, I was nervous. This was possibly the biggest two star show jumping course that I'd ever seen. It didn't help that all the faces in the arena as we walked were shades of green and white. It also doesn't help when you see top riders with good horses struggling with 2,3 and 4 rails. Christian helped me warm up, and I thank him for that. Simple things like "you're holding your shoulders really well" and "come more forward through the turn" really helped. I felt ready and I was really happy with the way Gavin was jumping and how great his entire body felt from the efforts he made the day before.
The beeper went and we began our round. It's safe to say this horse has more than enough scope as we left a good foot between the rails over the first. It's an amazing feeling to sit on a horse like that. The next jump was good. And the next line of a short 7 was amazing. I was doing everything in my power to ride to the best of my abilities. I know this horse can jump clear but it's been because of my own mistakes where we've unfortunately left rails on the ground. Things were continuing to go great. He was such a good boy through the triple. The oxer in to a long one stride was, well, long. He gave 150 percent to jump amazing over this and really used his scope to go clear. It was through the next turn where I should have pushed instead of pulled which resulted in my being a hoof print too deep to the oxer where Gavin had the front rail. Ah! poop! All my fault. I made sure not to make the same mistake into the next line around a tight turn. I rode positively through the corner refraining from pulling. Yes! did it! it was on to a tight two stride line of virticles and then 5 strides to the last oxer. MADE IT!
This feeling was almost as good as finishing my first three star on Minstral. I was again overwhelmed by the heart my horses have. I honestly can say that Gavin jumped his socks off. He gave me everything he had and I'm so thankful to have a horse like that. I did my own victory lap, because even though we didn't win a ribbon, we won the weekend. Great dressage, great xc and a personal best show jumping. That's more than I could have asked for. As soon as I saw my mother’s face I started to cry. These were happy tears. She's been there for the good the bad, the ugly and the unfortunate, and there she was for another heartfelt success.
We laughed and we hugged and we cried as we headed back to the barnns. It really takes a team of great people to make a weekend a success. I have to thank my Mom for being there once AGAIN and for all of her help. She really is a gem and I couldn't have done it without her. I also want to thank Christian for driving 8 hours to clean my tack, clean my horse, tack him up, provide support, be a psychiatrist and continue to be an amazing boyfriend. God I have it good.
You can never quit.
Winners never quit, and quitters never win.
Till next time,
Kelly
